Assistants
If somebody is going to become part of your life, who they are matters.
Skills matter. Experience matters. Reliability matters.
But so do personality, conversation, judgement, humour and whether you actually feel comfortable having somebody around.
That's why Harris James thinks very carefully about the people we invite into somebody's life.
You wouldn't choose a friend from a list of qualifications.
So why would qualifications be the only thing that matters when choosing somebody to spend time in your life?
Competence is essential.
Compatibility matters too.
Why Assistant?
Because what you need assistance with is personal.
One person might want a little help getting ready in the morning. Someone else might want support getting back out after a hospital stay.
It could be medication. Making lunch. Exercise. Shopping. Getting to an appointment. Going for coffee. Keeping on top of things at home. Or simply having someone around who knows you well enough to notice when something isn't quite right.
We don't think the job title needs to define which of those things matters to you.
That's why we keep it simple. Assistant.
What they're assisting with depends on the person.
And the job isn't to take over.
Good assistance sometimes means doing something for somebody. Sometimes it means doing something with them. Sometimes it means encouraging them to do it themselves.
Sometimes it means noticing. Sometimes listening. Sometimes stepping in. And sometimes knowing when to step back.
What are you trying to keep doing?
Where would you like to go?
What matters today?
What would make life easier?
What would you rather do yourself?
What could we do together?
When would you prefer us to step back?
A different starting point
Not somebody arriving with a list of tasks and leaving when they're ticked.
Of course there may be practical things that need doing.
Some may be important.
Some may involve personal support.
Some may require specific skills or training.
But a person's life is bigger than the task list.
An Assistant should understand why something matters, as well as what needs doing.
The task might take twenty minutes.
The relationship takes much longer to build.
The person behind the role
So what are we actually looking for?
They notice
Not simply what is written down.
They notice the person.
Something different.
Something better.
Something harder.
A change in mood.
A new confidence.
Something somebody has stopped doing.
Something they've started doing again.
Knowing somebody means noticing.
They're interested
Not performatively friendly.
Actually interested.
In your stories.
Your opinions.
Your routines.
Your hobbies.
Your family.
The things you enjoy, and the things you don't.
And what makes a good day feel like a good day to you.
Good conversation begins with curiosity.
They have judgement
There isn't a procedure for every moment in somebody's life.
Sometimes the person needs help.
Sometimes encouragement.
Sometimes space.
Sometimes reassurance.
Sometimes somebody simply needs to listen.
Knowing what to do matters.
Knowing when to do it matters too.
They're reliable
Trust can be damaged by very ordinary things.
Being late.
Not calling.
Forgetting.
Making promises and not following them through.
Reliability isn't an administrative detail. It's part of the relationship.
They understand when to step back
The fastest way to complete something is often to do it yourself.
That doesn't automatically make it the right thing to do.
A good Assistant should recognise what somebody can and wants to continue doing.
Helping shouldn't quietly become taking over.
They can be themselves
Harris James isn't looking for people to perform a corporate personality.
Someone can be quiet, or funny.
Energetic, or thoughtful.
Chatty, or practical.
Curious, or calm.
The important thing is that they are genuine.
Relationships between two people work better when both are allowed to be people.
Compatibility matters
The “best” person isn't necessarily the right person.
Imagine two Assistants.
Both are trained. Both are experienced. Both are reliable.
But one loves gardening, cricket and getting out for coffee.
The other would happily spend an afternoon discussing books, cooking and theatre.
Neither is better.
But one might be much more naturally suited to you.
We want to understand things such as:
Personality.
Interests.
Communication style.
Routines and preferences.
What good company means to you.
What you enjoy talking about, and what you don't.
The type of presence you feel comfortable with.
Matching shouldn't simply be about who is free.
It should be about who might fit.
We can't promise that every preference can always be met, or that the same person will be available for every visit. What we can promise is that these things are genuinely considered, and that where circumstances require a change, we will tell you rather than hope you don't notice.
Familiarity
Nobody should have to keep introducing themselves in their own home.
Relationships improve when people become familiar. When someone knows:
How the morning normally works.
Where things belong.
What somebody enjoys.
What they don't.
When conversation is welcome.
When quiet is preferred.
What matters.
And what normal looks like for that person.
That knowledge cannot always be captured in a task list.
It develops through relationship.
Continuity isn't simply about scheduling.
It's about being known.
What does that look like in real life?
It depends on the life.
An Assistant might be alongside somebody while they:
Get ready for the day, or prepare breakfast.
Go shopping, or visit somewhere.
Get out for coffee.
Cook, or keep on top of things at home.
Attend an appointment.
Enjoy a hobby, or get into the garden.
Exercise, or rebuild strength and confidence.
See friends.
Go somewhere they haven't been for a while.
Manage aspects of everyday life.
Receive personal support, where this forms part of their agreed arrangement.
But the list isn't the proposition.
What matters is what those things allow somebody to continue doing.
What is available depends on the arrangement agreed with each person, and differs across the Harris James categories.
A simple test
Would you actually want to have a coffee with them?
It sounds almost too simple.
But if somebody is going to spend meaningful time in your home and your life, qualifications alone cannot tell you what that relationship will feel like.
Would conversation come naturally?
Would you feel comfortable?
Could you laugh together?
Could you also sit quietly together?
Would you trust their judgement?
Would you notice if they weren't there?
Professional enough to rely on.
Human enough to enjoy being around.
Being human doesn't mean being casual about standards
Warmth isn't a substitute for competence.
Assistants still need the knowledge, training, understanding and professional standards appropriate to the work they undertake.
Where somebody requires particular support, the person providing it must be appropriately prepared for that responsibility.
Being friendly is not enough.
Being interesting is not enough.
Being kind is not enough.
The Harris James expectation is capability and character.
Not one instead of the other.
There isn't one Harris James personality
That's rather the point.
The people Harris James supports aren't all the same. Why would the people working alongside them be?
Different ages.
Different backgrounds.
Different interests.
Different personalities.
Different experiences.
Different strengths.
What should connect them isn't sameness. It's the way they think about the person in front of them.
Different people.
One Harris James Standard.
Words matter
Nobody should become “the 9 o'clock visit”.
People are remarkably easy to turn into:
A visit.
A package.
A call.
A task.
A slot on a rota.
A diagnosis.
A list of needs.
Operational systems may sometimes require those things behind the scenes.
But the person should never disappear inside them.
An Assistant should know the person before the package.
For family
You shouldn't have to explain everything every time.
When someone you love has support, there can be an enormous difference between:
“Someone is coming.”
and:
“Someone I know is coming.”
A familiar name.
Someone Mum knows.
Someone who understands Dad.
Someone who knows what normally happens.
Someone who will notice if something isn't quite right.
That familiarity can matter to family too.
Good assistance
Help shouldn't quietly become taking over.
Independence does not always mean doing absolutely everything alone. Sometimes independence is:
Choosing.
Deciding.
Participating.
Directing.
Trying.
Doing part of something.
Knowing help is there if required.
Having confidence to go somewhere.
Being able to remain at home.
Or accepting the right assistance so something else remains possible.
Assistance and independence aren't opposites.
The right assistance can protect it.
What success looks like
Sometimes the best thing an Assistant can hear is:
“I'll do that bit.”
Or:
“I don't need you for that anymore.”
There will be times when needs increase and more support genuinely becomes necessary.
But where somebody becomes more confident or capable, we should celebrate that. Not protect our involvement.
The relationship exists for the person.
The person doesn't exist for the relationship.
More than one person
An Assistant doesn't need to have every answer.
One of the advantages of the wider Harris James approach is that the person alongside you does not need to pretend to be:
A coach.
A nurse.
A therapist.
A home specialist.
A planner.
Or every other form of expertise at once.
Their job includes recognising when another perspective may be useful.
The wider Harris James world can bring different thinking together where appropriate.
Knowing when somebody else should be part of the conversation is good judgement too.
Who becomes Harris James?
We are interested in more than what's on a CV.
Experience can matter enormously. So can training.
But when Harris James considers somebody who may become part of another person's life, we also want to understand:
How do they think?
What do they notice?
How do they communicate?
Are they curious?
Are they reliable?
How do they respond when something doesn't go to plan?
Can they build a relationship?
Can they respect somebody else's way of doing things?
Do they understand that their job isn't to become the centre of the room?
And perhaps most importantly:
Would we be comfortable with this person becoming part of our own family's life?
This is the standard.
Reading this and thinking “that sounds like me”?
Perhaps we should talk.
Harris James is interested in people who understand that good assistance is about more than completing tasks.
People with judgement. Curiosity. Reliability. Character.
And a genuine interest in other people's lives.
If that sounds familiar, we'd like you to discover what working with Harris James could look like.
If somebody is going to become part of your life,
shouldn't you care who they are?
We do.
It all starts with a conversation
Tell us about the person you'd feel comfortable having around.
What matters to you?
What kind of company do you enjoy?
What would you like help with?
What would you prefer to continue doing yourself?
What makes somebody feel like the right fit?
Those things matter.
